America Needs A New Canal To Connect The Atlantic And Pacific


This proposal originally came to me by way of Twitter, when user @superloafcat used their immense intellect to devise this preliminary rendering of what the canal would look like. Based on their high-resolution image, we can glean that the plan calls for a new canal to be dug approximately 150 miles wide, spanning the 2800-ish miles from San Francisco to Virginia Beach.

The waters are going to rise globally anyway, so we might as well do our part by digging a big place for a lot of it to go. How much longer could we get away with burning fossil fuels all willy-nilly without massive floods and such, when all we need to do is lower the sea levels by a few inches. Man, while we’re at it, let’s just build an inland ocean. Look at what the Mediterranean Sea has done for tourism in Europe. We could have our own Med. Think about it!

If we had a giant national canal, just think of the commerce that could flow through our country. This is an investment in the future. Think about canals as an alternative to flying. Instead of taking a plane on your next family vacation, you could hop in a sailboat. It practically pays for itself. And a road trip? Forget about it. 43,000 people are killed on American roadways every year. Fewer than 4,000 Americans drown every year. Water is literally 10 times safer than driving.

Think about all of those acres of wasted space in the middle of the country that could be waterfront properties when this project is complete. Wow, a tiny podunk town in the middle of nowhere could be a booming seaside metropolis. The economic gain here is just unfathomable. And that’s to say nothing of the ease of transport between seaside towns. You could row or sail to the next town for free, just like our ancestors used to. Forget paying $6.99 for a gallon of gasoline.

This could be the single biggest public works project in American history, absolutely dwarfing the national interstate system and the Hoover Dam. This canal would result in millions of American jobs created, just think how many people we would have to pay to dig this big trench across the country. And by the time we move all of that dirt, we could probably build a new mountain range in like Texas or something. Could be cool.

America’s reliance on our road system is getting beyond absurd at this point. Road congestion, whether for people or goods, results in over 100 billion dollars per year in wasted time and fuel. Flying is obviously a non-starter as it’s getting more expensive by the minute, and airlines are working diligently to make the experience a living nightmare. No, we need to invest significant national effort in the creation of a cross-country transit canal. Boats are the answer.

Obviously it would be unrealistic to suggest America build a high-speed rail network. No, a cross-country canal is the answer. Let’s work together and make it happen.